| im back |
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| 04:18pm 30/06/2003 |
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mood:  cheerful music: one more day - diamond rio
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boston was awesome. its seriously nothing like florida. i love it so much up there, but i was really homesick at times. it would be so much more awesome if i actually lived up there and all my friends from down here lived up there. that would be sooo cool.
anyways, nothing much going on here. taylors here. chris and tanner just left cuz i wasnt supposted to have anyone over. so yeah. i hope my bro doesnt say nothing.
la la la.. im dropping my film off from boston tonight and gettin it tomorrow. hehee. yayay. and i might get my nails done. ;)
love ya'll and its great to be back!!! |
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| only 1 more day! |
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| 04:46pm 11/06/2003 |
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mood:  pissed off music: perfect - simple plan
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only 1 more day that i have to put up all this bullshit. thank the lord!
yeah. so maybe i have been hanging out with my boyfriend and my best friend alot? point being? i enjoy being with them. i love hanging out and goofing off and just having fun. im over the whole big group thing. people are so clicky and it makes me SO MAD. people pair off or triplet off.. and it deminishes the idea of the whole big "happy family" picture. and im sick of it. i get more pissed off then actually having fun when im in big groups. so i ended it. small groups or being by myself works just fine for me.
call me weird, but sometimes i like to have my time where i dont have to be talking to someone or listening to someone talk to me. i do like to be alone. and just cuz im sitting by myself doesnt mean im upset or angry or that i hate u cuz im not talkin to u.. I WANNA BE ALONE!! gimme time to think!!
and im sorry if i love hanging out with my boyfriend so much. but hes the world to me and ill spend my time how i wanna spend it. i love my friends, but people these days are annoying me and id rather just stay away then have to explode on u. i have a few people in mynd but i wont say. i love u guys but we all need our time. |
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| emotional.. |
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| 08:55pm 21/05/2003 |
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mood:  depressed music: ltruly, madly, deeply - savage garden
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wow. me and taylor. i love her so freakin much. shes my bestestestttt friend ever in this whole wild universe. and i love crying with her. id cry with her foreverevereverever. thanks for being so emotional with me.. thanks for just being my best friend.
its so funny how one minute your happy, then the next minute.. your sitting, waiting, looking at the clock.. crying.
i miss u tanner.. so much. |
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| blahh. |
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| 08:02pm 21/05/2003 |
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mood: annoyed music: forget my name - new found glory
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man oh man.. my stomach hurts like a biotch.
anyway i hope tanner liked his gift!! hehe i love him so much.. ;D im so happy.
im waiting for my lubber to come online. i wanna talk to him soooooo bad. and now susans all tellin me that she talked to him at chris' house blah blah and all this junk. just great, i havent talked to him since like..lunch. NICE JOB SUSAN!
hmph. i think ill be going now. psh to everyone. |
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| morning! |
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| 07:58am 21/05/2003 |
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mood:  busy music: understatement - new found glory
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hey all -- heres a really quick update cuz ive gotta head off to school..
today is tanners birthday! =) i hope he likes his gift..
lol so last night i was laying in bed, it was like 10:30 and im almost asleep when boom! a poem line/paragraph pops into my head.. im like ut oh gotta write this one down. so i do.. and so then i lay back down but i cant fall asleep.. so i hadda finish the poem up before i could go to bed and sure enough, the poem ended up being about me and tanner. hehe.
well ive gotta go do my makeup! see ya! |
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| updating.. |
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| 05:57pm 19/05/2003 |
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mood:  indescribable music: forget my name - new found glory
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*sigh* this sucks.
okay theres this long story to it all but my friend AP did something and now people are saying that im calling her a slut and what not. i might have sed she was a slut but i didnt mean it in that way. i meant in it in a way that she is ACTING slutty. it takes alot more to become a slut. i love AP, but lately, shes been doing things.. that arent in her best interest. and so this gurl geniveve IMs tanner and shes all like tell your gurlfriend to stop calling ana paula a slut blah blah becuz if anyone should be talking its about your gurlfriend and who shes gonna go makeout with next who shes prolly known for 30 mins blah blah. and then she HAD to get all into this story about me making out with this kid at the rapids when i had only known him for 30 mins.
basically, yes - last summer i admit i wasnt the best person to be with or to be friends with. i did some things that i really do regret. and one of them does happen to be meeting a guy at the rapids and hanging out with him and then kissing him. it did happen i wont lie.. but it is something i am not proud of at all! i wish i could take it back - actually i wish i could take alot of things back. but its my past. its over and done with and people do change. and i have changed. alot. yet, people always remember the bad - not the good.
i did act slutty in the past. for the people who knew me, you know i have. i guess maybe thats why i dont wanna see AP get into it. the rumors break you down little by little. although it was my fault it happened, people stretch it and the rumors hurt. there were days i would cry and i just dont want that to happen to AP.
i just hadda get that off my chest. i feel a bit better now.. i think. |
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| sorry guys! |
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| 09:32pm 15/05/2003 |
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mood:  bored music: little things - good charlotte
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hey guys.. sorry i havent updated in forever. sorry i left it on such a bad note too, i dont even remember what was wrong then either. heh.
anyways, i left school early today. i had yet again another migraine. i just wish they would leave and leave for good. nothing works for me. i hate themmmm.
what else is new? my uncle in NC is in the hospital again. =( its his second time -- he got moved from the rehab center back to the hospital on mothers day. what a great mothers day gift.. =/ i hope hes gonna be ok. i really dont wanna have to go to NC for that reason.
me and tanners 2 month anniversary is sunday! =) i love him soo much more then i could ever put into words. and then his bday is wednesday.. *sigh* i hate shopping when you have no idea what to get someone.. lol.. fun.
hmm what else.. thank God school is almost over.. i cant wait until the summer. well except for the fact that im leaving for two weeks to go to Boston and ima be away from tanner.
well i guess thats it.. cant think of anything else. xoxo. |
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| holding on.. |
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| 04:50pm 02/05/2003 |
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mood:  stressed music: hold on - good charlotte
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this world
this world is cold
but you don't
you don't have to go
you're feeling sad, you're feeling lonely, and no one seems to care
you're mother's gone and your father hits you
this pain you cannot bear
but we all bleed the same way as you do
and we all have the same things to go through
hold on if you feel like letting go
hold on it gets better than you know
thats like my encouragement right now, nothing else is keeping me going -- its just like reminding me that like, sooner or later.. everyone will deal with something like im dealing with or something along the same lines. i hate problems.. =( i wish everyone could get along and be honest and be nice and all that stuff.. but i guess then the world would be no fun!
ima go.. bye. |
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| keep your mouth shut! |
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| 05:09pm 01/05/2003 |
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mood: enraged music: hold on - good charlotte
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people talk so fucking much. why can't people ever keep their mouths shut? just once! JUST MAKE ME HAPPY! GOSH! i hate fucking gossipers. i can't stand people who talk about other people behind their backs, or in a way that effects them. and it makes me ever more so mad when what they are saying isn't even TRUE! grrr it just makes me sooooo mad. who the hell can i trust anymore??
i just can't handle it anymore. i have so much on my mynd. |
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| updating finally.. |
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| 05:41pm 30/04/2003 |
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mood: bored music: picture - kid rock and sheryl crow
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hey all. today has been a so so day. nothing great but nothing bad. i sprained/rolled my ankle monday night at my basketball game, like ive done twice before this. it hurt soo much and my dad thought i was bending down and holding my ankle cuz i was tucking in my sock or something and im like uhh help here plz i cant walk. and hes like ohh, woops sorry. so yeah and then i sat for like 3 mins and got up and played the last half of the seocnd quarter and the third and fourth quarter. ;) im so strong. lol.
what else has happened? ooh yes, now tanner and flashdude are talking and so far so good.. although i am the main thing that they talk about. its not bad though..so i guess its all good. i do like being the one all the attention is on lol. =P
anywhooo..i dunno wut to get tanner for his birthday. he seys he doesnt want anything but i still wanna get him something? any ideas guys? (help me help me karrynn)lol.
aight i gtg get redi for the chiropractor and i think i might strangle my brother.. =) |
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| i know i know.. |
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| 08:11pm 23/04/2003 |
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mood: bored music: truly, madly, deeply - savage garden
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yes yes guys, i know i havent updated in a while. okay so yeah -- spring break is over and its back to school. we started yesterday. boy oh boy. spring break was soooooo awesome though.
i was with taylor soo much. she literally spent all of spring break at my house. i love her. she rox. shes like my sister. and we were with tanner and chris almost all of spring break too. i feel like it brought me and tanner so much closer together. its just i really do feel closer to him. i love him so much. he means so much to me.
lol i think it was lexie who put tanners chain on me today in lunch and like i sed bye to him when i got to my 5th hour and then justine was like "oo.. is that tanners chain?" and im like WOOPS! so i yelled across the hall but he didnt hear me so i didnt give it back to him. lol now i have it and i was wearing it when my mom got home and i was reeli hot when i got home so i put on soffees and a wifebeater and i had his chain on and my mom was like "whos is that?" and im like "tanners" and shes like "take it off! it looks so gangyish!" im like haa.. NO! so yeah.. anyways.. im bored. and tired. and waiting for SSM to sign on. (lol tayz)
thats about it. peacerzzzz |
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| i love tanner so much.. |
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| 12:11am 17/04/2003 |
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mood:  loved music: dreaming of you - selena
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Don't love with your eyes or your mind, love with all your heart. Your eyes and mind will set you adrift, but your heart knows best. |
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| moobies.. |
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| 12:57am 16/04/2003 |
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mood:  tired music: i feel pretty - westside story
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mehe, i went to the moobies tonight wif my lubber. it was fun fun. im not gonna kiss and tell tho. lol. only to tay tay. =D mehe yeah.. there was a little disruption but.. all was good after we moobed. =P i lubbb tannnnerrr. |
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| moooovies |
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| 01:34pm 14/04/2003 |
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mood:  jubilant music: hold on - good charlotte
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hey all <3 im so boredd. and a lil upset. i wuz supposta go out tonight wif chris and tanner but now chris is sick so his parents wont let him go to the moovies tonight. and my momma wont let me go with tanner by ourselves cuz then its a "date" and megan cant date yet, lol. so chris sed we will go tomorrow night. yay. =D happi. but iuno if i can wait that long.. argh. anywho, friday is me and tanners 1-month! yay. happi stuff. tanner rox. my dirrty sox! ^_^ |
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| rawrr |
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| 11:05am 12/04/2003 |
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mood:  pleased music: picture - kid rock and sheryl crow
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well we lost our bball game by one friggin point. it sux yes i know. we were doing soooo good, we came up becuz we were down 12 points and we caught up and then 2 seconds til the buzzer goes off, this gurl puts the shot up and it goes in!!! GRR. oh well, im really proud of my team. we came back and we played a great game. =) go us! |
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| saddness |
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| 08:24pm 11/04/2003 |
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mood: lonely music: somewhere out there - our lady peace
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argh man.. tanner left early again today. i was verry sad. he left yesterday and today RIGHT BEFORE lunchh.. =( i miss him so0 much. i wish he would come online. =/ i like go crazy. hes so awesome to me. |
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| i love tannnerrr |
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| 05:12pm 10/04/2003 |
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mood: loved music: swing swing - the all-american rejects
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this is the email he wrote me today while i was in school cuz he hadda go to miami to go model..
hey baby i miss u so much and cant stop thinkin bout u and i might have to go to Miami again tomorrow that sucks but i will talk to u later
LOVE U
XOXOXOXOXO
i love it! and i love him! |
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| forgot to mention.. |
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| 08:02am 07/04/2003 |
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mood:  giddy music: because of you - 98 degrees
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lol i forgot to mention that i met candace cameron on saturday. (shes from full house - she played D.J) muhehe. i will tell ya more later. have a go0d day guys! ;D |
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| boredness |
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| 03:44pm 06/04/2003 |
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mood:  thoughtful music: without you - mxpx
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no one is on.. im bored. what can i say? i went to mollys bat mitzvah yesterday. it was pretty cool. i had fun, lol -- the only bad part was when everyone was slow dancing. i missed my tanner soo much. so i called him and we talked and stuff. i love him. he rox. ;D i like go crazy when im not with him or talking to him online or on the fone. but i dont wanna seem like i always have to be with him. i dun wanna make him feel like he always has to be with me yanno? hehe. i wrote a poem for him. lemme find it.. *goes searching*
Something About You
I don't know how to explain it,
If only you could truly see,
How much I really care for you,
How much you mean to me.
I look forward to seeing you every day,
The grin that belongs only to you,
When I see you I can't help but smile,
There is just something about you.
When you put your hand in mine,
My heart suddenly beats faster,
I wish I could tell you right then and there,
That my life could never be better.
When you wrap your arms around me,
For a simple, gentle hug,
I want to stay in that moment forever,
And tell you how much you really are loved.
When we gradually come close enough together,
Our lips touch, a kiss,
Nothing around us seems to matter,
Because there is nothing sweeter than this.
No words could ever express how much you mean to me,
I hope you have these feelings for me, too;
I can't figure out just what it is,
But there is definitely something very special about you.
hehe hope u guys like it ;D |
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| 07:02pm 04/04/2003 |
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mood:  hungry music: i'll always be right there - michelle branch
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ahh man, i just woke up. its wut.. 7 pm? i went to sleep at like 4:45 ish cuz i had such a bad headache. it was so extremely painful. but its better now. and im hungry.. im just waiting for my mom to get back with the pizza. yummy =) i love my mommy.. she came into her room cuz thats where i fell asleep and she was all worried and scratching my back hehe -- it was a good thing to wake up to.
on another note..my grandma put her dog to sleep today. buffy was such a good dog. i know im gonna miss her. and my grandma is having a horrible time dealing with this. =/
anyways, tanner rox. hehe -- no complaints in this department. hes soo awesome.
alright ima go. dinners here. |
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wildthang4's journal